personal

Conquering Mt. Fuji

Summer time in Japan means climbing season for Mt. Fuji. I was caught in the middle of my life so stressed, depressed and unmotivated to do anything, so I decided to book a tour to climb Mt. Fuji last minute, it was a spontaneous trip with my friends who also just want to get away with the routine of life.

I took overnight bus from Osaka to Tokyo where the meeting place is. I was part of a tour with other tourist from all different parts of the world. Our tour guide explain to us the guidelines while climbing the mountain and they said we are very lucky cause the weather at the mountain is perfect cause the typhoon just passed by the other day.

11:30AM. Our tour bus took us directly to station 5 where the climb will start and we have to climb until station 10, sounds easy? No. Station 6 is okay but station 7 until 8 is very rocky and stiff, I suggest rent trekking pole it will save your ass from sliding, falling and it will give your more stability while climbing or walking.

6:00PM. When we reached station 8 where we will stay overnight, have dinner and rest before we reached the summit. That’s the only time I somehow properly wash my face, used bathroom and clean myself a bit cause I still can’t take a shower. They offer post cards which is exclusive only at the mountain where you can send to your loved ones or yourself.

1:45AM. The most difficult part for me climbing at dawn with 4-5km/hr wind and 5 degrees weather. The way to the summit is very stiff and dark it took us 2 hours before we entirely reached the summit.

4:15AM. The most rewarding part waiting for the sunrise! As the sky clears and you can see all the clouds beneath looking so soft and fluffy that I actually want to dive in feels so unreal. Then, me watching the sunrise at the summit of Mt. Fuji I just can’t think of anything. It might sound so cliche but as I watch it, everyday is literally and figuratively a brand new day!

That moment in my life will definitely be one of the books and I will always look back at when I’m so tired with my life. Imagine everyday the sun rises for all of us and me as a night person personally watching it, I never knew how amazing it can be! It feels like magic and surreal. I felt completely happy, high, positive and energized after I witnessed it. There are no words and adjective to describe how great it was.

xoxo

Standard
personal

How to Love Strong Independent Woman

For years she build herself up, spends day and night to really know herself, took countless of downfall before she finally accepted and love herself-all the good and bad. She value her solitude more than anything that’s why it’s tough to crack her wall. You’re so lucky to love by a woman who value herself.

1.She doesn’t need you. She wants you.

Bad day at work? She knows how to make herself happy-a jar of ice cream and netflix but she still want you to be there by her side to comfort her or watch rom-com movie with her while she’s sobbing, wipe her tears, hold her hands and hug her until she feels better.

2. Don’t be intimidated with her

We all know men’s ego are so big when they see women who are doing great and being successful more than them they feel so interfere. A boy will see her as a competitor and get intimated by having her shit together. A man who truly loves her will be supportive and a great cheerleader.

3. She is living up with her expectations

Strong independent woman expectations are so high because she always set the bar so high for herself.  So please don’t get tired when you think she’s being so demanding she just wanted you to be the best version of yourself that’s why she is always pushing you to do great things.

4. She hates being weak

Everyone around her admire her for having strong personality. You can never see her cry because she hate herself more than anything when she’s being weak. She will try her best to shrug off the negative feeling she has and show up like nothing is bothering her. Talk to her. Make her feel safe. Tell her it’s okay to cry and not be okay all the time. Be her safe haven that she can lean on when she can’t handle her world.

5. She tend to be workaholic

She understand that career is not everything but she is always chasing after success. Ask her to spontaneous adventures and dates like hiking on weekdays, long drive where you can alternate driving cause she knows how to handle car, take pictures of sunset. She won’t turn you down because she is addicted to life experiences. Remind her the world is vast and don’t be confined in her little world.

xoxo

Standard
personal

P A U S E.

pause noun: a temporary stop, a break in verse 

I admit I always try to do things big or small on my own without asking the help of anyone cause I don’t like the feeling of being a burden to someone or put them in a bad place cause of me. That’s why no matter how hard the situation is, I will try my best to solve everything in my power. AS IN EVERYTHING…only to find myself at the end of the day so exhausted and drained.

Each day I live like that without realizing how hard I was to myself, until I went back home in Gifu for 3 days off. Being the ultimate ‘probinsyana girl’ big city like Osaka is kinda overwhelming. It’s so fast-paced and feels like 24 hours is not enough to get things done. I tried my best to keep up with this lifestyle. The funny thing is, I never thought I was being toxic to myself.

During those 3 days break from my city life, I had lots of realizations and how important it is to practice pause from life and just breath for a while. That’s the only time I slow down and took my time. I rode my bike, stare at horizon, took picture of sunset, walk at park, cook food for my brothers, drink beer with my father, genuine conversations with mom. It made me think and understand how blessed I am.

Yes, career is important but don’t forget to pause. The biggest reward we can give to ourselves is time. Assess yourself, meditate where are you now in your life? Are you happy? What makes you happy? What’s stopping you to do the big things? Why are you afraid of the unknown? or you can just let go everything, smile and utter a small prayer that everything will work out just fine.

Always be grateful about the little things in life cause when you look back at it, you will realize they were the big things. It can make your heart full and soul at peace. We are only humans, not capable of everything and ultimately not perfect. Don’t hesitate to ask for help and treat yourself better.

xoxo

Standard
personal

Failures makes sense

May 16, 2015

How can I forget that day? It was the day I changed my life forever. It only took me one day, one-way plane ticket and one decision into a completely different life. Since coming to Japan, I always find myself defying my norms. I only had failures after failures, my insecurities eating me up but I tried my best not to give in cause I know to myself I’m not that weak. I fought the hardest that I can, chase the path I thought was the right one for me.

I thought I needed no one. I think highly of myself and didn’t rely to anyone cause I always believe I got my own back. I put too much pressure on myself that at this certain age, I should already achieved this and that etc. that’s why when my plans didn’t worked out the way I wanted it to be I always get disappointed and devastated.

There was also times, I questioned the Most High cause hey I’m trying my best, I always worked hard. Why it seems like it’s getting nowhere? Why it’s so easy for some people to get what I wanted without so much effort? Life is so unfair. I’m being such a bitch here I know but it was all in the past. Sorry. I forgot that God’s plan for me is even greater than what I plan for myself. I forgot to ask Him. I only rely on my own thinking and strength. But  I understand now, every failures I had was God’s way of saying ‘No, I have bigger plans for you. All you have to do is trust Me, my child.’

I got tired from all the failures and disappointments I had. The day I decided to completely surrender everything to God was the best decision I ever made. Ever since then, life surprises me. God will send you people as instruments to help you to realize His will. Currently, I’m on my way to a better place and I know that this time, God is walking me through. This is all His plans and not mine. All my failures makes sense. I was chasing the wrong path all along. I owe everything to Him I can’t do all of these alone.

For every lost souls, I completely understand how hard it is not to know what to do with life. There are days where you don’t feel alive and just empty soul. So we tend to chase and look as desperate as we can but we often forgot all we have to do is ask and trust Him. It’s that simple. It’s not a matter of religion. I hate religion it causes division among people but I do believe in God. I just don’t believe in any teachings even though I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic.

Always keep on trying, no matter what the results might be. Do things you think can help you at the moment. Be brave and make yourself proud. We got this!

‘Keep in mind the recipes for success: work, pray, think and believe.’

xoxo

 

 

Standard
personal

22 Life Lessons at 22

  1. Don’t take life too seriously, unless you want to go crazy.
  2. Be your own hero.
  3. Age doesn’t measure maturity.
  4. Don’t wait until you’re ready cause life is happening now.
  5. ‘No’ means no. You don’t owe them explanation.
  6. Quality over quantity in all aspects of life.
  7. Guard your heart above anything else.
  8. No matter how busy you are, don’t forget to take care of yourself.
  9. Good food, music, bath and sleep solves anything.
  10. Never stop learning.
  11. Trust your instincts.
  12. Dreams do come true if you work hard on it.
  13. Stop overthinking everything.
  14. Your faith will take you to places.
  15. There’s more to life than love.
  16. Do more, complain less.
  17. You are the master of your life, rule it.
  18. Accept the fact that people come and go.
  19. Appreciate the little things.
  20. Faking bravery and confidence can go a long way.
  21. Take every opportunity to do something you never done before.
  22. At the end of the day, a bottle of beer won’t hurt.

Navigating life has no instructions and manuals. We were given the freewill to decide for ourselves. Life is tough but the beauty of it is undeniable. Every experiences whether it be good or bad is teaching us something important and that’s what makes us who we are. Enjoy everything while it lasts, none of us coming out of this world alive. Dance like no one’s watching, do whatever makes you feel alive even if it’s just singing at the top of your lungs with your favorite jam.

I’m at the point of my life where I don’t give a shit of what others think of me, I do whatever makes me feel great and happy. When you already reached this certain point, you feel so free. It feels like I’m at the top of the world screaming to life ‘I don’t give a fuck, you can’t bring me down this time.’ Life doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger. Day by day it seems like nothing’s changing but looking back, everything is different. I’m growing into something I never thought I can be.

‘Live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Just live well. Just live’ -Me Before You 

Standard
personal

How to deal with homesickness?

Time check: almost 11PM and I can’t sleep due to homesickness.

Living abroad sounds fun and exciting until you have to deal with homesickness. I believe all immigrants can relate. This is the toughest battle we have to face.

When you scroll down on your facebook timeline and see your friends hanging out without you or receiving video calls when they go out, for a while you can forget the thousand miles distance from them at the same time you want to cry cause you miss them. It makes you realized how your life has been changed since then.

When you crave your local food or homemade meals and you can’t do anything about it. There will be no grill joint at the street corner, no more midnight snack lugawan, 24/7 Panaderia that serves hot pandesals, fresh coconut juice and taho early in the morning.

Even the hot weather cause I’m really getting tired of snow and winter. Missing my tropical home. I know you can feel me, right?

Most of the people who know me are amazed how fast I adjusted my life here, but they have no idea what’s really going on inside my head. So, how I deal with days like these?

1.Reminiscing the good old days

You can say I’m masochist but yeah, when I’m feeling down and missing home I always browse old photos. Those photos means a lot. Old but golden, the good times and happiness where we’re just having the best time of our lives and we don’t care about tomorrow. Photos that will make you smile no matter what’s going on with your life.

2. Calling my grandparents or love ones

Talking to my grandparents always makes me happy. They raised me, so when I’m feeling sad I always talk to them they are the only one who can give me warm and fill my heart too cheesy but true.

3. Watching favorite shows, anime or kdrama

I consider myself as an ambivert. I like going out with people but I need alone time cause it exhausts me, most of the time I watch my favorite shows to uplift myself. Sometimes, reading my favorite book also do the magic. Just do whatever makes you feel great and happy.

4. Good food, Good bath, Good sleep

The three combos that can solve anything. I know you get me.

So there you have it. The best advice I could give is only you, yourself can make you feel good. Always remember why are doing these? Who are your inspirations? Never lose of that sight. Life is tough and much tougher away from home but always remember why you started.

You are entitled for all of those emotions. It’s healthy to release it once in a while, but don’t be stuck there. You have to keep going and don’t let life defeat you. After all, living in a strange land is not that bad. Have a mindset of this is actually an adventure, a roller coaster ride so might as well, enjoy it while it lasts!

P.S. For all immigrants, I’m so proud of you.

Standard
personal

Being at 20-ish

‘we’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical oh yeah..I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22. Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you.’ 22- Taylor Swift

This is the phase where you are almost legal in everything that the world has to offer. Loans, credit cards, alcohol, driver’s license, bars, casinos etc. name it! Yep, we’re ‘that’ legal now. We don’t have to make fake ID’s anymore in order to enter a bar or buy cheap spirits. Sounds fun, right? But also overwhelming, cause from now it means we’re ‘adults’ and we have to be responsible for ourselves. (omg! Hi Mom, please read my blog. I don’t want to be an adult anymore, help! sending SOS loljk)

Nobody said it will be these confusing cause the decisions I’m going to make today will either make or break me in the future. For the past few months, I was a ‘damsel-in-distress’ trying to figure out what the hell am I gonna do with my life? I’m also wondering how come some of my batchmates are already married with kids while the others are still busy getting wasted every weekends? I belong to the latter, okay. We’re still kids who are so confused and lost trying to act like an ‘adult’.

They say 20’s are your selfish years to build, learn and explore. Being in the foreign land, makes it much harder for me to know what am I supposed to do cause I don’t have any idea what’s going on. It took me a year to realized what I want to do with my life. For the first time, I am so sure with my decisions. I finally found my reason to stay. Congratulate me, guys!

I know the journey would not be easy. It might be tough and hard but I want to pursue it. I finally understand the feeling of waking up each morning with goals and dreams to achieve. I’m not living my life like a ‘jellyfish’ anymore. This time I’m taking control with my life. I might be too ambitious but the hell this is what I want and I’m going to make it happen no matter what it takes. So young folks, ‘chase dreams, not people’ cause there’s more to life than love.

We’re still new in these whole adulting phase, so don’t be so hard in yourself if you’re still feeling lost. You might be drained, confused, lost, and stuck but I tell you, it’s completely okay cause it’s all part of the process to grow and learn. As the saying goes ‘if you’re struggling, it means you’re progressing.’ So don’t give up yet, we’re just starting. Don’t forget that we can always rewired, rebuild and restart our life cause we’re still young we’ve got time.

xoxo

Standard